the hokey pokey

There are days when the writing comes easily. And there are days when it doesn't. And the longer I go between posts, the harder it gets to come back here feeling like I have something to say. 

I admit I've been having some... blah days. Nothing unusual for mid-March in Portland with a whole slew of hormones racing around in my body or leaving my body or somewhere in between. But I'm a thinker and it's these days that I have to be wary of. They are not me. They are not my normal mindset. And if I think on them too much, I start thinking that my life is on the wrong track and that things are destitute. I must just stop myself, distract myself, tell myself this really isn't true. 

Because it really isn't true. What is true is that heart-soaring feeling that catches us and lifts us up. That feeling that comes from being inspired, from being curious, from wanting to know more, see more, taste more, feel more. To explore. To go into the world with our eyes and hearts open to whatever may come our way. That is what is true. The deep, inner feeling of being alive in this amazing world of astounding beauty and courageous people. The feeling of being a part of something more than just one single life. And the feeling of being one single life among many. 

Everywhere, right now:
:: someone is being born
:: someone is getting married
:: someone is sleeping
:: someone is dying
:: someone is being murdered
:: someone is laughing 
:: someone is crying
:: someone is experiencing incredible joy
:: someone is being raped
:: someone is meditating
:: someone is lying
:: someone is starving
:: someone is discovering who she truly is
:: someone is eating ice cream
:: someone is swimming
:: someone is wondering what it's all about
:: someone is feeling alive
:: someone is committing adultery
:: someone is just becoming a parent

We are, each of us, in this moment in our lives. Sometimes it's a great moment. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it's worse than that. We are individuals and we are together, at the same time. 

In my days, I strive to be in the light, to follow my heart, to trust myself. To be inspired by others, compassionate toward that which I do not understand, non-judgemental to myself when I am not "doing" enough. I do not always succeed. That too is life. Part of the learnings, part of the feelings. But here I am, regardless. Here I am, in this body and this life which I will only live once. And that is amazing. That is what it's all about.

photo by Julie Winkler