there and back again

Before going to Boulder, I admit I was a little apprehensive about what it would feel like being back. The last time we were there, it had been just a year after leaving. It has been almost two and a half years now. I feel a bit like a different person than when I left Boulder. 

Here are some things that struck me:

:: it is really dry in Colorado
:: the foothills are amazingly close and gorgeous
:: it is still inspiring to see the Continental Divide 
:: I no longer feel like my life is in Boulder
:: I have many dear, dear friends in Boulder
:: sunshine holds magical powers
:: I miss Boulder Cafe happy hours with friends... and being able to bring Jacob along
:: Boulder feels small
:: winter in Boulder is very colourless
:: I like the way my curls more in Portland
:: I wish I could foster my Boulder relationships more, especially the ones involving kids
:: I like being a mom in Portland
:: our house in Boulder still needs a lot of work
:: snowstorms are still exciting
:: we are still in the thick of transition and figuring out where we "belong"
:: I want to live somewhere I love

 

The thing is, there are many wonderful, beautiful places to live in this world. Far too many to live in all of them. Can I say that Boulder is where we need to be right now? Not exactly. Can I say that Portland feels completely right yet? Not exactly. But I can say that I have been fortunate enough to choose two great places to live. I have wonderful friends in both places, some of whom know more of my pre-child self, some of whom know my present struggles as a parent, all of whom know me. I am grateful for each one of them. And I am glad to experience Boulder and Portland, both hippie-like places where people choose to live in ways congruent with my own values. There are worse places to go, and come, home to.