|River of No Return Wilderness|
I've also been struggling somewhat with... well, I'm not always sure. The best way I can describe it is missing myself. This might sound odd because, of course, I am with myself every day. But that's not what I mean. I mean being in touch with myself, feeling my inner selves thriving, having passion for what I am doing with my days.
So, as those of you who know me know, I headed into the archives of my life: letters, old writings, inspiring quotes scribbled on bits of paper, journals. The reminders of me that I found centered so strongly around Nature.
As a child, my family would take trips to Kensington Metropark . Not far removed from the city, it still had the ability to transport me into another world. This world was slower, calmer, beautiful, reassuring, quiet and restful.
When I left home for college, on the other side of the state, I had to find another nature fix. Thankfully the Kalamazoo Nature Center was there and willing to offer me a job. I went there for work, for solitude, for answers to questions within my soul. Then it was Idaho and The River of No Return Wilderness . I did return from there, reluctantly, but to my mother's extreme happiness. Telluride , The Nature Conservancy , Boulder County Youth Corps . My choices continued to lead me into Nature. It was in my life, daily.
For me, Nature can not be peripheral. I need it to be more of a focal point in my life. When I'm hurting, Nature comforts me. When I'm happy, Nature rejoices with me. When I'm unsure, Nature assures me of the steady, cyclical promise of itself. Being in Nature, I am constantly reminded that I, too, am a part of this cycle, this magic. This is what I am missing. The magic of the world. It is my spiritual compass and part of my core being.
It is very fitting, then, to make it a goal, to strive to return to that closeness, to bring myself closer to core through Nature.