feminine napkins (a rant)

I have never researched who actually designs pads for women but I can guarantee that it's no one who has ever actually worn one. I am so over these damn things and attempting to find one that is semi-comfortable. Semi, of course, because nothing pressed up against your butt on an 85 degree day in a humid climate is going to be truly comfortable. My own butt cheeks pressed together don't always feel comfortable, for crying out loud.


But, really... who makes these things!? Who thinks it's a good idea to make a pad with a scent? I have enough "scent" at time of the month, thank you, and nothing you put into my sanitary napkin is going to make that any better. Worse, more like it. Like putting scent in kitty litter and trying to cover up an already heinous smell. The sweet smell of perfume combined with the natural scents of the situation just make me want to hurl. 


And truly, my least favourite part? The wings. Oh, yes, the wings. Of course, one must have them if she doesn't want the edges of her panties tinged with.... her monthly. And yet, why can't they make wings that stick to my underwear and not my body parts!!!! If I have to wear one more pad that pulls out more of my pubic hair than my last wax job, I swear I'm going to hurt someone. There is nothing worse than trying to get your grocery shopping done and, with every step, having a tiny painful tug at your underparts remind you of your femininity (as if you could forget).

So, c'mon people, make something that doesn't make my period worse than it already is. Kotex, at one point, used a little bit of Velcro to hook the wings together. Why that went by the wayside I have no idea. Too comfortable, I suppose. We wouldn't want that. Please, people, please. 


P.S. If you happen to be a man and read this (and were in any way disturbed), I have no sympathy. I did warn you. And you should know what half the population deals with anyway.