Friday, February 24, 2012

things and living your dreams

First, where do you suppose is the dirtiest part of your house? I think mine is behind the refrigerator. Disgusting. I've had some up-close experience in this area today, because our fridge decided to bite it. Bad news - total hassle. Good news - getting rid of stuff in the freezer that I didn't know I had. Also good news, we rent this house.

Jacob has been totally into science experiments these days. Back to My Big Science Book .  It ranks right up there with Magic School Bus books which we also read several times a day. We've been learning about the action/reaction of propulsion. I like these experiments because they use things most us have at home already (or can easily and cheaply find) and they're usually pretty quick. I'd recommend the book to anyone with a little one who asks lots of questions and likes things hands-on (so, that's probably anyone with a child...).

My second shirt... hmm... It looks cute enough and was not too hard to make. The only problem is that the neck in no way fits over my kid's big head. Sigh.. I haven't had the desire to take the collar off and re-try just yet. And I think my next clothes sewing project will be pants. I think my very next project will be some sort of treasure bag for Jacob. My pockets and his hands just can't carry all the rocks, seeds, sticks, and what-have-yous that he likes to collect. And a bag is nice and easy.

Cruz Room

Salt & Straw
I had a fantastic moms' night out last night. I have been absolutely so blessed to have such a great support network. I really don't know how I'd be surviving otherwise. To have others with whom to share trials and tribulations, joys and sorrows, dreams and heartaches. That's what we all need. It's a vital part of this living. To be supported and lifted up by these women, to know that someone else understands my daily parenting woes and also knows that there is more to us than "being mom" is absolutely wonderful. 
Besides all that important stuff, we also had the most delicious tacos at Cruz Room over on Alberta Street. Some very interesting combinations, like chicken and lemongrass with coconut milk or fried pickle, bacon and special sauce. Quiet tasty. 
A ladies night out wouldn't be complete without a stop at the area ice cream joint, Salt & Straw . Hello. Pear with blue cheese, strawberry honey balsamic with black pepper, almond brittle with salted ganache (yes, please). I could go on; their list certainly does. Quite different flavours that I would never think to put together but that are like bliss in your mouth. Other points that made me really love this place: they encouraged you to try as much as you like (which, for a recovering Catholic like myself, makes me feel a bit guilty), they use metal spoons for sampling and they compost (or recycle) everything!! I really respect businesses who try to be more environmentally aware. After all, we all should be.

Finally, a little word on my February goal, Just do it . I've realized something else about this concept. For me, feeling pressured to do much of anything makes me feel less like doing that very thing. Let's take writing for example. I love writing. I have always felt the need to put words on paper. But once I started pressuring myself to do it for money, I felt like I lost the drive and the fun of it. I'm not sure where that comes from exactly. Probably my parents (just kidding.... that one's for you, Mom). It's good to be aware of, though. 
I had a little bit of self-awareness last night that caught me off guard, though. These days I've been feeling a bit... disconnected from me. Searching for my drive and passion. So, we were talking last night about lots of stuff and one of my friends asked, "So, is writing what you'd like to do if you could be doing anything?" Before I had a moment to think about it (and because I'd already had two drinks), I said, "Yes." What took me by surprise was how it resonated within. It felt right. It felt true. 
It's so easy to be afraid. Afraid to try because we're afraid to fail. Afraid that the dream we hold dear to our hearts might not be within our reach. Don't chase the dream because if you don't reach it, it won't be as disappointing. I'm not sure that's true. The thing is, the surest way to fail is to not try.  I'd be more upset with myself if I didn't give it my all, if I wrote off my dreams before even attempting them. The lucky ones of us are told we can do anything with our lives. But the responsibilities and fears of life can quickly get in the way. It's all too easy to become cynical about making dreams come true. Who can hold to that place within, that place which speaks to us softly, surely, telling us that following the dream is actually the point of it all? Here's to that place within me. I heard her last night, and that hasn't happened in quite a while.

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