Annie Dillard once wrote, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you." I've been thinking about that these past couple of days.
Visiting preschools and thinking of the limited time Jacob and I now have together has made me more conscious of the time we do spend together. I love him so much and want him to grow into whoever he is, hopefully someone who will love life and live it fully and be happy. And yet, I do sometimes wish I could stop time right now, just for a bit, and savor every little moment. Here are some of my recent favourite moments:
Fraser: We have to brush your teeth really well tonight because of all the sweets you ate today.
Jacob: What sweets did I have today?
Fraser: Didn't you have any of Mommy's cranberry-oat bars?
Jacob: Yes. They were delectable.
After receiving some money in a Valentine's card, he puts aside a dollar and says, "I'm paying for another book." Then, Daddy asks if he wants a bath tonight, to which Jacob says yes. Fraser asks how much it's worth to him, and Jacob pulls out two dollars and says, "Fifteen dollars."
Tonight, kissing him at bed time, he says, "I love you very much. I love you so, so, so much." I couldn't agree more.
It's days of those things, so many comments and little things that I can't keep track of them all. The sound of him sucking his thumb, how he pats me on the back to fill me with love, tells me to call him his snuggle bean. How soft his skin is, how he loves to cuddle, the way his voice sounds as he sings his ABC's in bed at night. It's everything. I'm soaking it in. These are the easy days when things are simple, he's mine and the answers to questions are pretty easy (although after being asked how metal is made, plastic is made, cheese is made, foam blocks are made.... I'm starting to wonder). No schedules, no demands. It's a luxury. I know it. And I'm appreciating it. We are spending our days...