Lots of times that doesn't bother me and my type A personality too much but sometimes... well, it does.
Yesterday, I was having one of those days when all the little things were bothering me. No fun for anyone. I took some time for myself (ten minutes was the best I could manage but in a regular day with a couple kids, that's like a holiday) and did a little meditation. And I asked myself, in an ideal world, what would make me happy right now? I thought to myself, If my house were in order and I could just enjoy my kids.
|my "foyer"; I don't even see the mattress against the wall anymore|
|my lovely bedroom - at least it's painted!!|
|the boy's room|
|our TV/guest room|
Well, sure my house is a bit crazier than some houses but really, there's no such thing as having your house in order. Not when you have children. Maybe not even without children. So, in that case, I had to say, "F" the house. If I want to be able to hang out with my children, I should damn well do it. Jacob just wanted to hang out with me and have me read to him and you know what? He won't always want that. Yes, sometimes I actually have to make a phone call during the day when I can talk to an actual person and sometimes I have to send an email and just about every day I have to make dinner. But there are times when it's really just my brain telling me that certain things around the house need attention when really, they aren't that important. They're just things. They're not human beings. They're not my children.
So, the house will wait. Someday it might be more put together (I sure hope so). And my children may never understand how frustrated I can sometimes feel about letting go of order. But I hope that they do have many memories of having fun, of me being happy, of them being happy. I hope they have fond memories of being young and growing up. Creating those memories is something that won't wait. And that is ok. That is what my children are here to teach me.