The other day Jacob and I headed to a bakeshop a friend told me about; she served an absolutely incredible cheesecake from this shop at her son's birthday party. I used to search bakeries out in Portland (because heaven knows there were soooo many lovely ones there), but I haven't done that here. This was the perfect opportunity.
Lucky's Bakehouse is where we headed for a special little treat Thursday morning. Oh, people... deliciousness abounds here. I had the most delectable raspberry filled doughnut I have ever had. It was like biting into a pillow or a marshmallow, except the taste was much better. But texturally, it was incredible.
And of course, we ended up taking something home because there was so much to choose from! We decided on a salted caramel brownie. Also heavenly. Rich, decadent, fulfilling.
Jacob and I have also been doing lots of snuggling and talking about the baby coming. He'd like to be at the hospital when the baby is born, because he'd like to see it come out. This does not surprise me coming from him. We have talked a lot about what to expect, and we also have a sibling doula who will be there to take care of him while the whole labour process is going on.
Jacob has been with me for most of this journey, from watching me take shots to seeing my uterus when they had to wand me to getting my blood drawn (and back to the lab to see what happens to the blood next). He's seen sperm under the microscope and knows that sperm and egg come together to make a baby and all sorts of factual stuff about pregnancy. This kind of up front talk is not for everyone (although I firmly believe that there is nothing weird about a child's natural curiosity or the human body... I could go on but won't). That being said, my next story is a little more "graphic", so this is your warning if you are weirded out by sex talk.
Jacob and I were reading a book called Chickens Aren't the Only Ones. The author says that any animal who lays eggs is oviparous.
J: So, we're oviparous, too. You have eggs.
Me: Well, I do have eggs, but I don't lay eggs. When an animal lays eggs, the baby is already inside it. I have eggs in me but they only have information in them and have to join with a sperm to make a baby. Then the baby comes out not in an egg.
J: How does the sperm get to the egg? (I knew it was not long before this question occurred to him although we had not discussed this actual part yet)
Me: The sperm comes out of the penis and into the vagina and meets up with the egg.
J: How does a penis get into a vagina?
Me: You know how sometimes your penis gets hard. Well, the vagina is a hole so the penis fits inside it.
J: When can I give you a sperm?
Me: Well, you can't. You can't share sperm between kids and parents or brothers and sisters. It's a really private thing. You have to be grownup and love someone a lot and choose to be with that person for your whole life, like Mommy and Daddy. Then you have to talk about it and decide if you want to have a baby. It's a really big deal.
That was it for the moment.... the next evening at the dinner table:
J: Where did you get the sperm?
Me:I got it from Daddy.
J: When did you get it? Where? Why didn't I see it?
Me: Well, it's a very private thing that grownups do. Usually it happens in bed.
Then I reminded him about all the doctor's appointments that we went through and how my body wasn't making a baby the way most people's do, so we had to take out the sperm and egg and put them together. Oh yes, he remembered all that.
So..... not that I wanted to have this conversation this early because I don't really want him to be thinking about that stuff between Fraser and me. However, the question came up, and I tried to answer it as accurately and succinctly as possible. I don't remember asking my parents about sex; I don't remember not knowing how babies are made. At some point, I am sure I asked about it, and my parents told me how it was and it didn't make much of an impression because it was just how it was. We'll see what else trickles out of the boy's mind about this, but he is just fascinated and thinks about things and has questions. I'm glad he can come to me with his questions. There are plenty I can't answer (and I send him to Fraser for those), but this one I do know something about. I am sure I'm going to be getting the note from the kindergarten teacher telling me that Jacob was talking about the details of reproduction. I'll just ask if he got them right.