Monday, September 23, 2013

real life

I would love to have a whole lot of fantastic things to write about right now; happy, funny, great photo-op events. But the truth is, there has been a lot of.... real life going on over here. 

Obviously, the weather has been a bit... unusual. Here's a picture I took on Monday, September 9th. That's when the rain kind of started up and didn't stop for about a week. 

Didn't really look that foreboding. Didn't know it would turn into this:

Thankfully, these days we're pretty much back to 


Next up, moving. Word of advice: don't move while you're pregnant. Sure, some people do this gracefully, but I don't think I'm one of them. I waffle between ignoring the house of boxes and feeling compelled to gets things in order as fast as possible. Neither work very well.

I'm not going to lie, people; this house drives me crazy. When we came back in January for a visit, I felt quite relieved to not be living here. So, to be back is a little.... challenging. I have been crabbier the past week, and I know it has to do with this house. It just has so many... eccentricities that need dealing with and then there's just the unpacking of boxes and not knowing where all your stuff is, not being able to make a proper dinner, making incremental progress most days and, by the way, I'm pregnant. I don't pull that card out often, but I am feeling it these days: emotional, harder to maneuver the midsection, constantly hungry, just wanting order. 

The place is a spider haven, too. I mean, some of these webs look like they could trap Jacob, for goodness sake. Prepare to be grossed out...

I power washed the house of Saturday and destroyed these lovely estates. I don't love killing other live creatures, and I know spiders do a lot of good work killing other things. That doesn't mean I want them surrounding my house, my mailbox, my electrical outlets, creeping in through all sorts of cracks so that I get to walk into my bathroom naked to see them in my shower or avoid them as I'm walking barefoot through the house at night. So, yes, my karma is in the shitter right now, but I'm just accepting that. Also, I did another very un-Boulder thing and proceeded to use a poison around the windows and foundation of the house in order to (in theory) keep the spiders off the house for awhile. I'll take some "after" shots soon so you can see how much better things look now.

Some parts of the house look a bit better than when we moved in, though. Fraser has been making good progress on getting kitchen things out of boxes. Jacob's room is livable and maneuverable.

And I'm trying to add little things that make me happy whenever I can.

 Thank goodness, in ways, for Jacob. Although having him around does make things slower, he also shines some wonderful joy in my days. He's so engrossed and excited by finding all his old toys and books. He likes helping unpack boxes, playing in boxes, playing in the paper, just being a kid and seeing the simple things in life instead of all the stress. And that is a good reminder to have around. 

Meanwhile, tomorrow is Fraser and my 6th wedding anniversary. In some ways, it sounds like such a small number for how long I feel like we've been together. We have definitely been through plenty of (stressful) life changes over our relationship. All for good things, really, but all stressful nonetheless (can we say parenting?). Our relationship feels a lot like real life right now, too. A deep and true love, yes, but miscommunications, irritations, and stresses as well. I am very much looking forward to some one-on-one time with him tomorrow night. It has been too long in this whole moving endeavour. 

Usually, I try to keep this blog as upbeat as possible because a) it's more fun to read most likely and b) it's just who I am. However, life is not always rainbows and sunshine; we all know that. And this blog is called Closer to Core for a reason; it's the challenges of life that often really carve us into ourselves. They demand choices to be made on our part, inner parts examined, paths taken and not taken. But this is what it's all about. Finding who I am at the core. Who I want to become, how I want to grow. I choose to share it with anyone who is interested not to depress you or turn you away, but because we all face challenges, we're all in this life. None of us are alone on the journey. And we shouldn't feel like we are.

Thank you for reading through the ups and the downs, the lengthy pauses, the crappy photos as well as all the fun and creative posts, too. More of the latter to come soon, I truly hope. I'll leave you with a couple fun pictures because looking at this boy always touches me...



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