Life's really good at throwing curve balls. Sometimes you see them coming. Lots of times you don't. People watching your life might have seen them coming and they want to judge you on your decisions, your awareness, your life. There are people who want to help you, love you, support you when you get hit by the ball. And then there's you.
You might judge yourself. You might hate yourself. You might pity yourself, love yourself, be unsure of yourself, laugh at yourself. You might be terrified or exhausted or angry or sad or hurt or all of the above.
Each day you start again, though. Taking it one moment at a time, one small step in front of another. Sometimes there are steps backward. More judgement and more love. Any day can hold a myriad of ups and downs, sureness and insecurity. There are no constants in these days.
And slowly, you begin to know yourself again. Slowly, you come to recognize who is holding you up, truly. Because there has always only ever been one person. Even when it seemed like that person had abandoned you completely and left you awash in frustration and doubt and guilt. That person has never once left your side. In the hardest of times, that person has shielded you in the only way she knew how; by surviving. And by loving you unconditionally.
That person is you.